


Advantage Bashir

by ConceptaDecency



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bickering, Dialogue-Only, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Humor, Humour, M/M, Married Life, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConceptaDecency/pseuds/ConceptaDecency
Summary: How many tennis rackets is too many? Opinions differ in the Garak-Bashir household.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 30
Kudos: 102





	Advantage Bashir

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eilu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilu/gifts).



> This was written as a trade for [eilu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilu/pseuds/eilu), who made some lovely art out of a silly idea: [Garak in his watermelon suit](https://conceptadecency.tumblr.com/post/619399495131758593/eilupt-conceptadecency-conceptadecency).

"Julian, are you coming to bed? I'm about to turn out the light."

"Just a minute. I'm nearly finished."

"What has you so thoroughly captivated, my dear?"

"Well..."

"Oh _no_. Julian, please tell me you aren't watching tennis racket review holos."

"I'm just _looking_ , Elim. Keeping up to date on the latest tech."

" _Are_ you? Forgive my scepticism, Doctor, but every time you're 'just looking' at tennis rackets, you somehow end up with a new one."

"Elim, you know I hate when you call me 'Doctor'. You only do it when you're annoyed at me." 

"Surely not _only_ when I'm annoyed at you, _Doctor_. Please stop trying to change the subject. You don't need another tennis racket, surely?"

"Well..."

"..."

"Oh, come on, Elim. Don't look at me like that. I don’t have _that_ many."

"And what is your definition of 'not that many', my dear? Perhaps my understanding of Federation Standard is flawed?"

"Hi-LAR-ious. But I only have three.”

“...”

“That I play with regularly."

"Mmmmhmmmm. And the other four in the storage room? Why are they so neglected?"

“Sometimes I want to try something new. You have to try new models sometimes.” 

“So you tried them and you don’t like them. Why keep them?” 

“It’s not that I don’t like them. They just aren’t my _everyday_ rackets.” 

“I see.”

“Thank you.”

“They’re your _special occasion_ rackets.”

“Yes, I suppose you could call them that.”

“Julian, we live in a very small apartment...”

“Oh, here we go.” 

"We haven't got a great deal of storage space."

"They don't take up _that_ much space, Elim."

"'Not many rackets.' 'Not much space.' Again, we find ourselves lost in translation, my dear."

"Elim..."

"The fact is we don't have a lot of space to give over to things we don't use. Can’t you just _replicate_ a special racket when you feel the need to use one?”

“Can't you just replicate a special suit when you feel the need to wear one?” 

"..."

"I'm sorry. That was a bit of a low blow."

“Julian, they're called _mijasts_. And a finely tailored mijast is completely different from a replicated one, as you well know.” 

“Yes, I know, I know. You wouldn't be caught dead in a replicated one."

"Dead! In a replicated mijast? Ancestors forfend! That would be worse than being caught alive in one."

"Yes, well, I'll remember your wishes when the time comes, love, I promise. But Elim, a well-manufactured racket is completely different from a replicated one, too. Especially if you're looking for control.”

"Control?"

"Of the ball."

“Ah. Perhaps. But surely you don’t need _four_.”

“Elim, how many formal mijasts do you have?”

“Oh, no you don’t. There is an occasion for every one of those."

"You have at least seven. Maybe more, for all I know."

"I assure you I'm not _hiding_ clothes from you, Julian."

"Hiding...? Oh, I never thought of that. Where are you hiding the others?" 

"You're welcome to look for hidden doors in the back of the wardrobe, my dear."

"I'm sure that won't be necessary, Mr Tumnus."

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing. Just, all of your mijasts are special to you, aren't they?"

"I wouldn't say _special_. They serve specific cultural purposes."

"Okay, they serve specific cultural purposes, then. And you would be unhappy if I told you that you had too many, would't you?"

"Julian, if you're leading up to an implication that your sporting equipment is analogous to my formalwear, may I just remind you that one of those seven mijasts is my _wedding suit_?"

"Ah, so some of them _are_ special!"

"That wasn't really the point, Doctor."

"There you go with 'doctor' again. Elim, all I'm saying is that if you decided you needed a new mijast I wouldn't complain.”

“Thank you.”

“If you were looking at patterns one peaceful evening, I would never imply that you ought to get rid of some of the ones you never wear before making a new one.” 

“I’m gratified you grant me such autonomy, husband, even though we are enjoined.” 

“I’d never start an argument just before bed about such a silly thing.”

“Your respect for others is one of your most endearing features.” 

“Elim.”

“Yes?”

“I’m thinking about getting another tennis racket.”

“Oh _are_ you?”

“Yes. In fact, I probably _will_ get another one. I'd like to have more control."

"Would you?"

"Of the _ball_. On the tennis court."

"Oh, there."

"And there’s nothing you can do to change my mind.”

“Julian.”

“Yes?”

“Come to bed.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Eilu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilu/pseuds/eilu) requested bickering and argue-flirting, then that they kiss. It's dialogue-only but I think the kiss is implied at the end. Hope you agree! (Also not mentioned: Julian has three more rackets. Two are his from when he was a kid and his mother still keeps them for him, and one is at the O'Briens' on Earth for him to use when he visits. Miles and Keiko are pretty good friends to do that for him, especially since people who design 24th Century homes do seem to assume that you don't actually own that much stuff.)
> 
> (I do not know if Garak has more fancy clothes hidden away.)
> 
> Mijasts are a Cardassian formal garment invented by [AlphaCygni](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaCygni/pseuds/AlphaCygni/works?fandom_id=8474%E2%80%9D%20rel=) in [Happy Itask'haran, Mister Garak](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14833034/chapters/34330502%E2%80%9D%20rel=), and since they are a great idea, this is the second time I've mentioned them in my work. 
> 
> I love every kudos and comment! Let me know what you thought or who you think won the argument or how you would convince Julian to get rid of some of those damn rackets if you were the one married to him.


End file.
